sinking in pain. I am the ten of swords.

I am tired of this life of hospital gowns and butterfly needles and orange medication bottles. I am tired of my knife-body. I am tired of pointless hurt. If I am to arch my back with brilliant pain I would like it to mean something. I am tired of being the stake-burnt martyr of no one and nothing. There is bitter glory in suffering for a cause, for a loved one, for a better world. Being young and ambitious and confined to a bed for months as you writhe in pain for no reason other than a dysfunctional body has no glory; it is only bitter.

"The man laying on the ground with ten swords in his back symbolizes hitting rock bottom. The ten swords in asymmetrical order symbolize defeat and endings that are completely unmanageable to the man on the ground. The red cape symbolizes his flesh. It has six swords in it symbolizing having nowhere to run and nowhere to hide. The four swords in the man’s upper body symbolize unwanted endings and loss. The sun is rising in the background dispelling the darkness, symbolizing a new beginning."